Just a few more moments… with Vilma

Sharing Vilma’s birthday with IWC friends

When a friend dies, many of us wish for… just a few more moments

Just a few more moments… to whisper endearments… to express our thanks for their kindnesses… to apologise for any hurt we may have caused… to say how much we will miss them… and to let them know that their friendship has been a blessing and an honour.

For about three decades, Vilma Morey and I were part of an eclectic collection of women who would gather in one another’s home, every second Thursday. In retrospect, we realise that these bi-weekly get-togethers were in fact, a life line. We were all different, with our own perspectives and pasts, but somehow we became… a sisterhood.

Of course each person’s bonds were not equally close with everyone in the group… except when it came to Vilma. To a one, we knew she was special, and she spread her “white light” unconditionally. Vilma had many interests: collecting, dream analysis, meditation, reading… she was curious about everything. And yes, she had opinions. She was not shy when it came to saying what she felt… but always in a kind way. We all adored her.

And because Vilma was such a fine friend, she was blessed with reciprocity … her nephew, Rene loved her and Quique like a son… Eric, came from his town every day to care for them… Nancy made sure Vilma never missed a dialysis appointment… Lenny’s  accomplishments filled Vilma with pride… Pat and Jacquie were her beloved neighbours.

Over the past decade, even in Merida, life has become much busier… and sadly, our Thursday group stopped meeting regularly. Our time was commandeered with the busyness, the concerns, and worries of our growing families, waning careers and so on… except for Vilma. Even though her health had declined, she still had energy and time for everyone… her aging husband, her frantic friends, the scholarship girls she mentored.  With a smile, she used to say, “The IWC is like a smorgasbord… there’s a lot to choose from, and you can pick what you like.”

In recent years, I sometimes felt like an unfaithful friend because I could not spend much time with her. And then… less than a month ago… Chloe hosted a reunion of our Thursday group, and I was pleased to drive Vilma, Pat and Lorna Gail there.

The evening’s weather was Merida’s finest, the food was abundant and caloric… we sat around the pool, and later inside, in a circle… catching up on one another’s news, and sharing our special friendship of so many years. It was close to midnight when I returned the ladies to their homes. Vilma was the last, and before she went inside, she took my hand and told me how much she loved me. We talked about all the funny and wonderful times we have shared. I walked her to her gate, watched her open the door… she blew me a kiss, and that was the last time I saw her.

Although I was not aware of it at the time, I now think that Vilma knew she would soon be joining her dearest Quique. She believed in an Afterlife… but before she travelled there, she wanted us to have just a few more moments. What a gift…

In the coming days, I look forward to hearing others’ stories of … just a few more moments … with our stellar friend, Vilma Morey.

Published by Changes in our Lives

I am originally from Canada but have lived in Mexico since 1976. My husband is from Merida, Yucatan and we raised our family here. We both worked for many years at Tecnologia Turistica Total (TTT), the tourism, language and multimedia college we founded for local and international students. Now retired, we enjoy spending time with family and friends, My other interests include spending time with freinds, reading, painting, cooking and travel.

20 thoughts on “Just a few more moments… with Vilma

  1. I’ll always see Vilma in her front-row seat at our general meetings – interested in everything and supporting everyone. We love and thank her for being a positive role model.

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    1. That is typical of her. I once admired a decorative plate she had hanging on a wall of her house. I told her I had the same plate… the next time my birthday rolled around, Vilma gave it to me. It now hangs in the kitchen entrance and I remember her each time I look at it.

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  2. Joanna, no truer words were ever spoken. You have given a beautiful tribute to an incredible woman who enriched so many people’s lives. She will be missed but moreover she will never be forgotten.

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  3. I loved Vilma so much. She was such a kind, interesting lady. Her love for the scholarship girls was inspiring. She will be missed.

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  4. When I first came to an IWC gathering in 2010, two of the people who warmly welcomes me was you, Joanna, and dear Vilma. I am so saddened to hear of her passing. When I saw her in her regular front seat at the March General Members Meeting, I never in a million years thought it would the last time. In the few short years I knew her I found her to be one of the most beautiful, accepting, welcoming and non-judgemental people I have ever met. We often run into each other at Walmart and always had our little chats. Rest in peace, dear Vilma, and may you bask in God’s heavenly light.

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  5. Vilma was a genuine friend.She knew the value of friendship.Vilma was generous.She knew the essence of love, just as you ladies of IWC showed their love by taking her to dialysis for 5 years,Vilma knew gratitude and always showed it in special ways.Vilma had incredible inner strength in the face of terminal illness until her last breath.It came suddenly.Recent events in her life were overwhelming , yet she was always composed.She lost her life partner 5 years ago, after a leg ulcer and gastric ulcers,And then an event, possibly heart failure or stroke,sped her to the hospital. Little could be done.She said she was so tired and ready to slip away.Vilma fought the good fight !.

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    1. You are right Pat… like you, Vilma was a real trooper. I admire both of you so much. If you like, I will take you to the “Celebration of life” that the IWC will hold next Saturday… Together we can say good bye to her…

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